(I have been meaning to get on here and say something, but I keep thinking I want to add pictures and then I don't take any or scan the ones I'm thinking of to be able to upload them, which makes my posts pictureless. )
And this one won't be any different. lol Anyway. Here I am. It is only four more days until Christmas and I will just be glad when it is over. I am so not a Christmas person, and after thinking about it, I realize why. I was on my way to work one day last week when all of a sudden I thought "Why aren't there any pictures of me and my brothers in front of any Christmas trees opening presents?" Especially given that my father was a photographer and took great pictures. But I mean there are NO pictures of us at all indicating we ever had Christmas at our house.
I know after he became a Christian when I was in the 3rd grade, he didn't believe that we should have trees or gifts, etc, because that was Pagan and Christmas was about Jesus being born. I do remember we still put up the tree (at Mom's insistance) and it was white with blue bulbs, and that Mom always made fudge and fruitcake. But that is all I really remember about it; I don't remember what kind of presents we got or anything. Is that not sad or what? I don't think we even ever celebrated with any family either, at least not that I can recollect. So I think that is the beginning of my not caring too much for Christmas.
Then I was married to Bob. Christmas became this whole huge production with lots of stuff and it was just really stressful. The first Christmas after I had left him, Nicole and I didn't even care to have a tree or gifts, we were just too happy to be away from him and after that, neither one of us cared about Christmas anymore. Even once I was married to Hector, we were lucky if we got a tree up 3 or 4 days before Christmas, if not the night before. And I think I only truly decorated the house once, and that was just because we were throwing a party in December.
But then came the grandkids and so the tree went up a little earlier (not much, but a bit) and presents had to be bought, lights have actually been put on the house outside, and a bit more decorating has been done (especially when Mom is visiting, like now.) But while I love Sean Michael and Kyla, I still can't muster up much enthusiasm for Christmas. However, I will say that from the time they were born, (and from when Nicole and Beau were little too) there are definitely lots and lots of pictures of them in front of the tree, opening presents, and what they got. So at least all of them will be able to have these moments again if they choose to, and not have to wonder if we ever had Christmas..
I do feel bad about not liking Christmas, and I really do not want it to rub off on Sean Michael. (Then again, heck, he just learned this summer what day Christmas actually is, so who knows.)
I know I would love to go home for a Christmas, and be around friends and family and maybe that would help, especially considering I haven't been home for a Christmas since 1984(!). Anyway, that is my plan for next year, so we'll see.
At any rate, feeling Christmasy or not, (and yeah buddy wasn't this just a Yuletide post) I want to wish each and every one of you a very Merry Christmas and that you get everything your heart deisres. Much Love and Wishes, Sharl
