The Last Day of The Year

It's that time again...New Years Eve.  I am going to be spending it with my pal Janie at her house, and we are going to have appetizers (I bought a variety at Trader Joes) and make a blue drink, with blue Curacao and vodka and pineapple juice and cream of coconut. It sounds delicious (I saw it on Facebook and took a picture of the recipe), so hopefully it will be as good as it sounds.

I know this month has been pretty pitiful with the posts, but after Mom dying I haven't been in the mood to write. But I will be going home in a little less than two weeks and hopefully will get back on the bandwagon with this. In the meantime I am trying to get the house packed up, slowly but surely, and today Van and a friend of his came and got Mom's bed and the guestroom bed and sheets and towels and blankets to give to a single mom of 2 who just moved into an apartment and literally has nothing, so this should help her out some. Of course I still have a lot of stuff here to go, but it will get done.

So for the last day of the year is CaliGirl in her brand new fluffy pink coat I bought her today:

 

Is she adorable or what?

Anyway, a brand new year is on the horizon and I hope it is better than 2015.

Happy New Year!

The Past Week

Sean Michael meeting our new puppy, Daisy. 12/3/15

 

 

Mom's Obituary:

 

 

 

Mom's Memorial Service on 12/4/15:

 

 

 

 

Later at the house:

 

And of course, Starbucks to cheer up with:

 

This Week

11/22  Mom died.

11/25 Got this sweet thing, an 8 week old female English Bulldog, who is still nameless for the time being:

 

11/26  Thanksgiving.  I was invited to three different ones but instead took Van to Hometown Buffet, where for my Thanksgiving dinner I had fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and corn.  Very Thanksgivingese, huh?

 

11/27 Didn't even want to attempt Black Friday so I only went to Starbucks.

 

11/28  Went out to get a few things and while fall is over and done with in Virginia, it is on full bloom here. At first I wasn't going to take any pictures, especially how I am feeling this week, but, the trees were so pretty so....:

 

 

11/29 And in the paper today:

 

 

But this kind of thing makes me feel a little bit better:

 



 

 

 



And It's Over

Last night around 10pm, my mom succumbed to pancreatic cancer.  She had been bedridden for the week and I knew it was different from the time before, and yesterday I think she had gone into a coma because she never woke up or moved at all, but was breathing.  In the evening she was breathing differently and by 10:10 when I went to check on her (for the millionth time), she was gone.

Even though I felt prepared, I found I really wasn't. It is so hard to comprehend that I am never going to see her again, get any nagging texts from her about not texting her, watch HGTV with her and talk about the Property Brothers Drew and Scott, bring her Starbucks, fly her to Virginia for Christmas, or bring the kids out here in the summer to see her and go swimming and go to See's Candy.

Sadly I wasn't a very affectionate person and I don't particularly like to hug and I feel bad I didn't hug her or tell her I loved her very often.  I'm not sure when I got to be like that, maybe when I was with Bob and that changed me.  I did tell her a couple of times in the past couple of weeks so she knew I did. Still, I know I should have more often.

Thinking about all this makes me sick to my stomach and even anxious.  I know death is a part of life, you can't get out of life without it.  And while I don't think she really wanted to die, which I don't think anyone does, I am glad that she is now without pain and sickness and she is in Heaven and with God.  That is the most important part, and while I mourn her, the angels are rejoicing her.

Rest in peace Mom and I will see you whenever I get there. I love you.

Truth

 

What I Need To Remember

 

Amen

The Power of Prayer

Last weekend I was pretty sure Mom wouldn't make it to this weekend because she was in really bad shape, very low blood pressure, not eating or drinking, not knowing sometimes who I was, etc.

On Monday, a few people from her church came over and sang to her, prayed with her, read a few scriptures to her, and gave her communion.  Tuesday afternoon she was up and on the couch and watching tv.  I mean no, she wasn't out dancing in the streets or anything and not eating anything, but she was feeling a lot better.  And for the past couple of days since, she gets up in the morning and lays on the couch and watches tv, has talked with friends who have come over or have called, she is drinking more liquid, and even eating a little more.  Not a whole lot, but much better than she was.

I truly believe it is God, though maybe not healing her, but letting her feel okay and having little-to-no pain. I am a great believer in God and the power of prayer and He listened to those prayers.  And even if she did pass away tonight, at least she wasn't in pain. Only God knows when He is going to take her and I just hope that when He does, it will be peaceful for her and let her continue to not be in pain.

In the meantime, thank you God for this time.

Night

I am really starting to hate night time.  With all that is going on with Mom, night is the worst time for me. Daytime is okay, but once 9:00pm hits, I start feeling anxious and sick to my stomach. And trying to sleep is a whole nother thing. I stay up until 1 or 2, turn out the lights and stay in my rocking chair until I fall asleep in it, and when I wake up a little bit later then I go to bed, figuring I should be able to right to sleep in my bed.

But, my brain has other plans. It wakes right up and I start thinking again. And even when I do finally fall asleep, it isn't a sound sleep and then I am up at 9 or 10.

I'm a little worried what is going to happen once Mom goes and I am here all by myself at night. Not looking forward to that at all...even thinking about it now makes me feel ill and want to cry.

This just really sucks.

You Know What Sucks?

Watching someone slowly dying. And knowing there is not one darn thing I can do to stop it.

Halloweens Past and Present

From 2010:

Sean Michael was a nerd. The only thing I forgot to buy was a bowtie and a pocket protector to complete the outfit.  He absolutely hated the hair-parted-down-the-middle, but it won him the prize for best costume at the party they went to.

For every nerd, there is a bully to pick on him and in this case it was his pal, Devin, who was dressed as, well, I'm not quite sure and he wasn't either.

Naturally, every good nerd has a pocket calculator for that just-in-case scenario.

 

From 2011:



The Mario Brothers, Sean Michael as Mario and Devin as Luigi. They went to a party at their friend Zach's house.

 

And I think this is the last Halloween party Sean Michael has been too.  Bummer. I can't even remember the last one I went to but I'm pretty sure it was in the 90s when Hector and I were first married, which would make it over 20 years ago.  Oh well...I've never been that big on Halloween like my kids are.

Speaking of, here is Nicole from yesterday:

She LOVES Halloween and so does Beau. I know he was doing something tonight but I don't know if he dressed up or not, though I would be surprised if he didn't. 

The fun of dressing up and getting scared I guess.

Why Is It We Don't?

 Or do we just not want to?

A New Zoo

I went to the Fresno Zoo a couple of days ago with Janie to see the new African Adventure they just opened and it was really great. I could remember the zoo from when I was a kid and it used to be all concrete and cages and little else, and now it is green plants everywhere and really so much nicer. And of course, I took pictures. But first, fortification for the day:

We have arrived:

 

The zoo had a graveyard:

 

 

We learned that these are Asian elephants and they are about 45 years old.

 

So I took a selfie with one...though she didn't realize it.

 

This tiger was new to the zoo and getting used to his new surroundings by pacing.

Gotta take pics of the flamingos:

 

And this is what we really came to see:

 

 

This is Tim-the-Rhino. I like this picture because it looks like that ostrich is on top of Tim's back.

 

Here too even more so.

 

Tim was ready for his close-up.

 

Then we saw cheetahs. Just made you want to pet them.

 

One of my favorite animals, the giraffes. Just something about them I love.

Isn't she cute?

 

There were these female lions that had their separate part, but they can lay on this rock and just stare out at the "African plains" and see the other animals. Makes you wonder what they are thinking (well, when they aren't asleep on the rocks (which are heated for their comfort) ).

 

This guy had his own little outside enclosure and he just stared at me, almost begging me to take his picture. So I did.

 



 

The zebras were way in the back...thank goodness for a great telephoto lens!

 

My other favorite zoo animal is the elephant.  Just something about them too...maybe because they are just so big and have those sweet elephant faces. This one came right up and looked like he was posing for me. I love it when animals do that.

 

Yeah....I took a few pictures of them. There were three of them altogether, and these ones come from Africa. This one was the male, and the other two were females, a mother/daughter duo. The zoo placed them together because they are hoping the male will mate with them so there will be baby elephants.

 

This guy was in the process of trying to train them by throwing fruit to them to get them to come to him. African elephants don't like to actually get in the water which is why they didn't come up to him. The one on the left is the daughter elephant and she is still pretty young and doing what she wants to do. The mom elephant was at the end of their enclosure being trained by another zoo employee.

 

 

 

Isn't he adorable?

 

From one end to the other.  And if you enlarge it you can see all three elephants.  The interesting thing was the elephants can't cross over and vice-versa because in the middle of that little lake under the water is a 10-foot wall to prevent it .

 

 

Off to Sea Lion Cove.

This was a cute couple.

 

 Why it is named:

 

Selfie time without any animals.

Geez you would think Janie would look a little happier.

And that was it.  Well, not really, I took many, many more pictures than what is on here but I don't think you want to see them all.

We wanted to go to Storyland, which has been here forever and they just renovated it, but alas, it is only open Thursday - Sunday. Dang it. Another day then.

 

These guys were on the outside of the zoo but what the heck. Hopefully they will stay on the outside as a zoo employee told us that a goose had landed in the lion's enclosure and those lions were FAST and  that goose was a goner.  Poor goosen.

 

And that my friends, was my day at the zoo.  Can't wait to go back.