My Casanova

One year ago yesterday, I lost my English Bulldog, Casanova, due to respiratory failure. It was absolutely heartbreaking to make that decision to let him go, but I did not want to see him struggle to breathe anymore and be so sick. Sometimes I still wonder if I made the right decision, but when I remember all the tubes in him and them working on him, and knowing it could happen again and again, I know it was the right thing to do, even though it was so very painful.

I miss Casanova every single day. How can you not love this face?

So, to my sweet puppy, I will always remember:

Your dear, sweet, sad, serious, loving wrinkled bulldog face looking at me

The way you planted your face in my leg when you wanted a biscuit at night

How you'd look at the "cookie jar" and then back at me, wanting me to give you a cookie, sometimes going to stand in front of it in case I didn't see it, looking at it then at me then at it then back at me

How when you would even hear the word"biscuit" or "cookie" and your ears would perk up and you knew exactly where they were

How you'd sit on my right side during dinner, knowing I would give you something off my plate, and barking at me in case I didn't realize you were there

How you would hurry through your dinner so you could hurry over to Paxil and wait for him to finish his dinner, hoping he left some on his plate so you could eat it. Then you would go to the front door and bark, like you needed to go pee, but really you wanted to see if Spot had been fed outside and left some on his plate for you to eat.

How happy you were when I'd get home from work, and wiggle your butt

How excited you'd get when I'd say we were going "bye-bye" and you'd prance around while I'd put your harness on

How you would get into the car and then stand up in the middle between me and the passenger seat, just looking out the front windshield (even on the day you died)

How you'd wait for a biscuit at the top of the stairs and then for the last one on your pillow when we'd go to bed at night

How you would sit and "say 'please' " for a treat

How you would snuggle with Hector in his chair in the basement

How excited you would be and start looking at the doors when I would say "Daddy's home!"

How you loved to eat snow

How you hated water and that time Sean Michael dropped one drop on your back and you jumped up like you had been shot and you ran around the yard and then into the house and thru the kitchen, dining room and living room and back out the front door.

How you loved licking some of the whipped cream from my Sb macchiato off my finger

How I'd share a lot of cookies with you, I'd eat down to a bite on each one and then give you the piece left

How you were just such a good dog

How you would lay at my feet in the living room

Your snoring

How in the mornings if we'd turn on the light you would turn your back to us like you weren't ready to get up yet

How in the mornings (or anytime) while I'd be putting on make-up and you'd sit between my legs, knowing i was going somewhere. Every pair of pants I owned had your slobber on the knees.

I don't even mind the scar I have on my big toe from when you attacked my foot in the middle of the night. My fault though because I startled you and it was dark and just did what a dog would do. So I have a daily reminder of you.


Oh Cas how I miss you so much my puppy.