Have you ever been so bored with your life that you just want to move away and start all over? Wouldn't it be great if it was just that easy? If only.
I am bored with my life. At 58 years old, I look around and think, really, is this all there is? I've worked for the government for almost 20 years (albeit 5 different jobs within it), I have only lived two places since 1990, and about the only vacations I take are to California. The "excitement" (if one could really call it that) that has occurred in the past 25 years has mostly been not the kind of excitement you would really want in your life.
I am ready for something new. And I get that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. But after feeling stagnant for such a long time, I want to try. I would like to move. I would like a brand new job that is interesting and fun. Better yet, since I'm wishing, I would like to be rich and not have to work so I could go different places and explore new things, and do what I want to do, like write and photography and catch up on scrapbooking and read.
But life isn't that easy. We have these mundane jobs that we keep plugging away at because we need to earn money to have a roof over our heads and food in our stomachs. Not to mention I have other obligations that sort of keeps me stuck here, and that is the hardest. In my heart I am still a California girl and while I know that Fresno is not the same city I grew up in, I have friends there and a fondness for my hometown and I would just love to be able to move back there. Even though circumstances rather prohibit it, I'm not going to give up the dream of starting over there. Or somewhere anyway....I have another place or two in mind also but we'll see.
There has to be more than this to life. Or not. But I don't want to be stuck here. So I'm going to go with my favorite saying for now:
Life is all about those leaps of faith.
I just gotta keep that faith.
