1) These past few days have been rough. I've had allergies out the kazoo and my nose has been so stuffy and Friday night I had pretty much a full blown panic/anxiety attack with it. My chest felt like someone was sitting on it and I felt like crying and I was pacing back and forth inside the house and outside the house. And then I prayed....and felt much calmer and could breathe out of my nose somewhat. Thank you God.
2) I was looking at jobs on USA Jobs and the Fresno VA had one open for Release-of-Information, a job I did for a couple of years at Camp Lejeune. I really wanted to put in my resume for it but I know I can't do anything until Sean Michael graduates in June.
3) I need a change. I don't want to be married anymore and I want to be on my own. I know it won't be easy but I need a new life.
4) Had an eye appointment today for new glasses. My eyesight really hasn't changed since the last time (a year and a half ago), but I have the start of cataracts. That's kind of a bummer. I forgot to ask how long they take to form...I guess I better google it.
5) Sean Michael has a girlfriend and I don't know how I feel about her. I think I am more worried about him getting his heart broken again so I feel guarded.
6) Going to spend the weekend with Vickie. Can't wait to see her.
7) Next weekend going to go see Tonda. Can't wait to see her too.
8) My heart and mind is in California. Don't want to be here in Virginia anymore.
9) It is surprising to me that I miss my mom as much as I do but I do. I think about her every day.
10) I wonder why I still wish for something that I can't have.
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