Going Home

Tomorrow I will be on my way home to Fresno to take care of things around Mom's house because unfortunately I cannot depend on my brother to do them and I do not want to ask other people to do them for me. So seeing as I decided to keep the mobile, it is up to me to keep it up and get things done.

Part of me doesn't even want to go; it's hard to imagine walking into that house and knowing she isn't there, much less to know she isn't going to be picking me up at the airport to begin with.  I've never not been picked up at that airport so this is a whole new thing for me, though I suppose I could have asked someone to pick me up.  But seeing as I had to rent a car anyway, there really was no point.

I will be there for about 6 days which should be time enough to get what I want to get done, besides seeing Janie and Vanessa also.  Already bought tickets for Roger Rocka's Dinner Theater and Vanessa and I are going to see "Hello Dolly" on Saturday night, Janie is coming over on Friday, Sunday I am going to go to church and hopefully have lunch with Mirna maybe, and dinner with Van probably tomorrow night at Casa Corona,  besides all the things I need to get done. So it will be a full 6 days and not too much down time which is good since I won't have a tv or internet.

Don't know if I will be able to blog as I won't have a computer but I will have my tablet; its just kind of a pain in the butt to type a lot on it because I prefer a keyboard. Who knows though, I may be that bored in the evening when I'm alone and no distractions.

California here I come...but without the usual looking forward to it.

Six Months Yesterday

I can't believe my mom has been gone 6 months (as of yesterday) already.  Time really goes by fast and even faster it seems as you get older. I will say the past two weeks I haven't missed her as much but only because of what has been going on, and I am glad she isn't here to see this because it would make her sad.

Still, I do miss her.

Just Because You Can Say It...

...doesn't mean you should.

People just say that to try and excuse themselves. You are being mean.

Not Much Else To Say

If Only It Were Really That Easy

But sometimes other people and other circumstances don't make that possible.

Never In A Million Years

I would have thought this would ever happen.  I am heartbroken.

So Not Good

I had ice cream for dinner for last night.  A lot of stuff going on right now and its not good and even though obviously ice cream is not the answer, I had it anyway.  Maybe tonight too (since there is one left in the freezer).

I just hope this ends soon.

Wow...

You think you know someone and then POW! They do a 180.  Was definitely not the way he was raised or treated.  I just hope that he comes to his senses soon.

Mothers Day Weekend

What a sucky Mothers Day. Really went down hill starting Saturday night. Saturday itself was okay, but man after we went back to the hotel....

But I don't want to talk about it. I'll just post some pictures instead.

First one is of me and Beau at Starbucks:

Then we all went to Airlie Gardens, a place I've been wanting to go to for years and just never got around to going. So I decided that this trip we would go. I wish we had had an earlier start because it bigger than I thought and quite a bit to see, but we didn't get there until 3:30 and they close at 5, so we didn't get to see the whole thing or take as many pictures as I wanted. Next time though!
So:

Can't wait to go back to take more pictures.

And then this last one taken on Mothers Day:

The List Of

California To-Dos:

1)  Black Angus (Vanessa, you in?)
2)  Casa Corona (in honor of Mom who loved that place)
3)  Roger Rocka's (again, Vanessa...)
4)  Life Cathedral on Sunday
5)  See's Candy (which goes without saying)
6)  Oh yeah...all those little pesky things to do at Mom's, like fix leaks, buy a lawn mower, etc. Oh what fun. 

Forever

because

So I Am

I am going.  I have already bought my plane tickets this morning and I have paid for a rental car, and now all I have to do is wait until the 25th of May. Part of me wants to do this, part of me does not. So I will just have to psych myself up to get it over with.

But I wish Mom was going to be there.

Should I or Shouldn't I?

I am debating on if I should go to California this month for a long weekend to take care of stuff  at Mom's house, namely a couple of leaks and then yard issues. Part of me would really like to just because, but then I think it is going to be so hard to walk into that house and know Mom isn't there.  So I don't know.  I feel like I should because there are things that need to be done and heaven forbid my brother do anything to help, which he could but of course won't. Vanessa has offered but she  has so much she has to do with her own family and job and she already pays the rent for me that I can't ask her of that.


So. Do I or don't I?